It's been a long month since I've last written any updates. One filled with a lot of emotion, a lot of confusion, and a whole lot of pain.
On the 16th of March, I herniated 3 discs. Don't ask me how, because I have no clue.
Working as a nurse for a neurosurgeon, I've seen my patients come through our doors with herniations, and so I've heard their stories and helped them along the way. It's one thing to help someone from an outsider's perspective, but going through it yourself is an entirely different experience. It has brought me from sympathy to empathy. From knowing about something from the outside looking in, to stepping inside and walking it out myself.
It started as intense back pain. There were no "incidents" or "accidents" that lead up to it. I was just sitting at my desk doing my work one minute, and the next, my back was killing me. I took some Aleve thinking it would help. Problem is, during the last two years, my allergies have gone from nonexistent to insanely crazy. So during allergy seasons, I'm always stocked up on decongestants, antihistamines, and NSAIDs. Which has done a number on my stomach (NSAIDs put you at increased risk for gastric ulcers and pain). So by the time I got home, I was in terrible back pain and terrible stomach pain that brought me to my knees. I won't go into too much detail, but suffice it to say, I had the ugly cry going on, and was minutes away from asking Matt to take me to the ER.
A friend of mine is the office manager for a local chiropractor, and was able to squeeze me in the next day for a consultation. It was also the day that our health inspection was scheduled. The inspector was scheduled in the morning, and the chiropractor was only open in the morning, which posed a bit of a problem. After tons of phone calls to the county I was finally able to reschedule her for that afternoon.
I had never been to a chiropractor before, so I had no clue what to expect, other than lots of pops and cracks. Except the initial visit didn't have any of that, just a lot of X-Rays and examination tests. Bend this way, twist that way, now put your leg behind your head and hop on the other foot...
OK maybe not that last one...
Y'all. My X-Rays are from a horror film. Just call me Carrie, the hunchback of Boerne. As it turns out, I've got a pretty serious case of congenital kyphosis. It's the fancy medical term for hunchback, or rounding of the shoulders and a forward curve in the thoracic spine. The thoracic spine is the portion of the spine from the bottom of the neck to the mid-back region. It is this portion of the spine that the ribs are connected to. There is normally a slight curve in this part of the spine, ranging from 20°-40°. Mine measures 60°.
Yup. That's me. Unfortunately.
There are lots of ways of acquiring this lovely deformity, and it's prevalence is skyrocketing due to, in my opinion, the smartphone revolution. Other experts agree with this hypothesis. Because more and more people, young people--teenagers and children to be exact, are spending so much of their time with their phones in their hands zoning everything out thats going on around them to put their entire concentration on this machine. Slouching over and looking down.
And while I've done my fair share of this, for the curve to be that severe at my age, I had to have inherited it genetically. Come to find out, my grandmother has severe kyphosis, according to all the medical records that she sent me. The unfortunate thing is that, had it been diagnosed at a young age, it could have possibly been corrected through bracing and therapy. Now that my bones are mature, the likelihood of correcting it non surgically is slim-to-none.
And after 29 years of carrying my body with this shape, the bones, muscles, and ligaments finally said enough is enough. I threw everything in the book at it including an oh-so-sexy back brace, non narcotic pain medications, muscle relaxers, TENS unit, and chiropractic adjustments. It was really fun the weekend of my cousins's wedding, when I had my worst day yet. I feel like I was the worst bridesmaid of all time, but what can you do...
After a couple of weeks of all of this, the pain persisted and my boss recommended that I get an MRI.
The really fun part of that was seeing the business side of the medical field. I'm on a high deductible insurance plan, which means that I pay 100% of the cost of all medical care until I reach my deductible and then the insurance company pick up 100% of the cost after that. I chose this plan because it's cheap, and because I'm young and healthy, with no medical issues. Insert eye roll emoji here...
So obviously, I did a lot of shopping around to find the best price I could. The costs of an MRI varies so much from one facility the the next, it is ridiculous. I can't understand how you can go one place and pay a certain amount, and then go to another place and pay over three times as much. FOR THE SAME TEST. It is so crazy.
Lay still in a tiny tube, and an hour later, come to find out, there are 3 herniations, a tiny one at T1/2, and then 2 large ones, which are compressing my anterior spinal cord at T6/7 and T7/8. Those are right at the most severe part of the curve in my T-spine. There is also degeneration of 4 levels where the discs are desiccated. If you look closely at the X-Ray above, you can see those levels, where the spaces between the vertebrae are super small. The pain I'm having is from a combination of the degeneration, the shape of the spine, and the herniated discs.
The first choice of pain relief for herniated discs are anti-inflammatories and steroids. So I was started on a steroid regimen. And was quickly instructed to stop it immediately due to a sudden onset of blurred vision, which came within just 2 days of taking it. If it's not one thing, it's another. Come to find out, I am a lucky member of the tiny percentage of people who have a reaction to steroids causing intraocular hypertension, which could lead to glaucoma. The pressures in my eyes went up, causing the blurred vision. After stopping the steroids, my vision has slowly gone back to normal, and I go back to recheck the pressures next week to make sure it has gone back to normal.
For now, I am trying to manage my pain conservatively, without surgery. Because surgery would mean a huge fusion, which has it's own risks, including that it may not even help my pain, and any time you fuse a spine, it puts more stress on the levels above and below the fusion, degenerating those levels, and then the need to do a larger fusion is a possibility. It can be an unending cycle in and out of the OR. So to choose that route at my age is not the ideal choice.
I have pain every day, but some days are better than others. Mostly, my pain is at its worst in the evenings. Luckily, I know all the right people, and my boss is taking good care of me. I got a better chair at work, along with a sit-to-stand desk, which has helped tremendously during the workday. I have a TENS unit which helps when the pain gets bad. I've got medications that I can take at work, and then stronger medications that I can take if I need them in the evenings and on weekends. I have a brace that helps tremendously. And I have a husband who has gone to the moon and back to help me. He's stuck true to that whole in sickness and in health deal.
For now, I'm not sure where this leaves us on our foster journey. I have days when I feel like I could handle a child, and then I have days that I couldn't even imagine dealing with this and a baby. I think that with time, as I learn how to handle my new normal, things will get better. I've talked with 3 of our surgeons in our practice, and the consensus is that right now, surgery isn't on the table, and it's looking like this is going to be something that I have to deal with for the rest of my life. So I need to learn how to live with it and manage it consistently. We are for the most part almost ready to be licensed. Only a few more minor things to get done before we would be ready for a home study. But for the past month, all of our energies have been focused on my back and how to deal with my pain.
This is my new normal. But I refuse to let this current state be my normal. I am determined to find what works best for me so that I can still live a somewhat normal life. One where a trip to HEB doesn't put me down for the count. And one where I'm not living from one medication to the next.
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