We Are Living in a Material World...

Stuff. Kids come with a lot of STUFF.

If you've had children, you know this to be true. When a pregnant mother nears her due date, she will have already have been nesting for weeks, if not months. Nursery decorated and furnished, stocked with diapers, wipes, clothes, and everything you could think of that one would need to care for a new baby.

She's often had 10 months to prepare for the arrival of this new little one. Some have been preparing for years. I know someone who started to stockpile baby gear for years prior to having her first child. I will have to admit I thought it a little strange at the time. But now I think back on how unbelievably smart she was. Kinda like those doomsday preppers, who everyone thinks is crazy until the zombie apocalypse comes...

Wait, what just happened there??

We've known that God has called us to foster care for a long time, and He confirmed His timing this summer. From the time that He definitively revealed His timing to us, until the time that we may possibly get a placement is the same exact timeframe that coincides with a normal pregnancy. It's funny how He pairs the natural with our supernatural callings. Every time.

So we have had quite some time to prepare. Not only to prepare our hearts and minds, but our home as well. The difference? I don't have a growing belly to remind us that baby is coming. And soon.

For a while now, I've been nesting, in the sense of cleaning out junk. Purging. Getting rid of the crap. I cannot believe how much stuff we have, even after only being in this home for 4 years. When we moved here, we purged, and I cannot believe that we still have so much more to get rid of. To compound the issue, our house is small, with very little in terms of storage.

I've been trying to move from one room to the other, cleaning out things slowly and thoroughly. But then Black Friday happened. We scored some amazing deals on some much needed baby gear. We got incredible discounts on a stroller/carseat combo, and a crib. So naturally, when these came in, I NEEDED to get them set up. Immediately.

The catch was that when cleaning stuff out, I didn't start in the extra bedroom. I started on the other side of the house. Making space for everything little by little. Because without needing to use the spare room as an actual bedroom, it became the room where we stored tons of stuff.

So to set up the crib, I needed to move a desk. I didn't have a place for the desk yet. But the desk would fit in the closet. So to fit the desk in the closet, I had to move all the boxes of my great grandmother's china. To move those, I had to rearrange the cabinet in my tiny kitchen with no storage. By the way, not all of it fit. What did people really do back in the day with a dinner plate, salad plate, bread plate, soup bowl, saucer for the soup bowl, tea cup, saucer for the tea cup, serving platter [X3], gravy boat, sugar bowl, serving bowl.............WHO HAS TIME TO DO ALL THOSE DISHES????

AHHHHH, I digress....

There came a point where I was just moving things around. Playing nesting Tetris.

Where was I headed with this? Oh. Stuff...

You know, becoming a parent through foster care looks so different than becoming a parent "naturally." I place that in quotes because going through the foster care route is so natural for us. But in some ways it looks the same. One of the ways that it looks the same is that you need a lot of stuff for a child: diapers, wipes, clothes, bottles, bibs, crib, carseat, stroller, changing pad, toys, books, bath toys, towels, pacifiers, blankets....

Stuff, stuff, STUFF.

Another way it looks the same? Often, a woman's water breaks suddenly, and she goes into labor quickly. She often rushes straight to the hospital, and gives birth to a baby a few short hours later (okay, okay, sometimes labor is not that quick...). Then soon after, she comes home with a baby. In foster care, the equivalent of going into labor is getting THE CALL. The call that there is a child needing a home, and needs to be picked up soon. Like within a couple of hours. This call could come during "business hours." Or it could come at 2:00am.

Since we have known that we are moving in this direction for months now, the Lord has made it clear to me that we are to prepare. We are to build our ark. In the faith chapter, Hebrews 11, the Bible says that it was By faith Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, in holy fear built an ark to save his family (Heb 11:7). We cannot yet see what God is doing through this journey, although we've seen a glimpse. It is entirely by faith that we are preparing, and building our ark.

Noah built an ark when God told him of the coming flood, even though there was no rain in sight. Sunny blue skies. No rain for months (if ever, who knows...). But by faith, he believed what God told him, and he built an ark. And it was credited to him as righteousness.

So we are doing just that. We are looking ahead to what God has called us to, and we are preparing and building our ark. We are clearing out clutter, and making space. We are gathering supplies. We have a crib set up, and a car seat purchased. I even went as far as making a registry. Which quite a few people have looked at me sideways for. But you know what? I'm building my ark. I don't have time for sideways glances. If you think that's overkill, then thanks for stopping by, keep on moving along...

The reality is, though, that a lot of foster families do not have this time to prepare their arks. There comes a time when a foster family gets a call at 3:00am asking if they can take a child. Oh, and by the way, they will be at their doorstep in an hour or two. Even for us, with "all the time" that we've had to prepare, you still never can be fully prepared, for any child, any age. Who has storage for that? I know I don't. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH STUFF YOU NEED FOR A KID??? HAVE I MENTIONED WE DON'T HAVE STORAGE???

But you know what's awesome? In our local foster community we have this amazing resource in the Vault. The Vault is a non profit organization, that is a local resource for foster families in our community. The Vault stockpiles essential items--MATERIAL THINGS--that foster families need at the drop of a hat.

You have a baby coming in an hour and need a carseat? Done. You have a toddler coming and you don't have a bed for him? Done. You bought a crib, but never got a mattress because you thought you'd have more time to nest? Done. You've always had older children, and now you're getting a baby and need bottles? Done.

You guys, I don't know if you know how much of a blessing this is, and how PRIVILEGED our foster community is to have this at our fingertips. Because the reality is that most foster parents across the country do NOT have this available to them. Most foster families are responsible for purchasing everything all at once that they will need, and all within a couple of hours.

I know what you're thinking. People who have children "naturally" have to get all this stuff too, right? Yes. But they have 10 months to prepare, not 2 hours. Not to mention baby showers and excited families and friends willing and ready to contribute. It takes a village right?

It sure does. And the fostering village in our local community is amazing. We are truly blessed to be able to be a part of this community. But guess what? Like everything, it takes money.

It takes money to have a warehouse full of childcare gear ready for families in need. Things. MATERIAL, TANGIBLE STUFF. Stuff that makes it easier for families to say Yes! to children in need of a home. Stuff that, without it, some parents would be too overwhelmed to open their homes.

Having the Vault available means that families are equipped to love on children. Having the Vault available means that foster parents who are not financially "wealthy" can still open their hearts and homes to children, because they have the things that they need to care for these kids. Having the Vault available means that when the 2:00am call comes, and a family doesn't have a crib or a carseat, they can still say a resounding YES! to the little one who will come into their lives. Having the Vault available means that the Kingdom of Heaven is advancing. That the love of Christ will shine vibrantly.

During this season of giving, often people are searching for the perfect organization to give their last significant financial donations of the year to. If that is you, could I ask you to keep the Vault in mind? Would you consider your year end giving prayerfully, asking the Holy Spirit to guide your gifts to be used for the things that He has set out for you to partner with? For organizations that show His love to the most vulnerable--to children displaced and searching for their home?

For religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress. James 1:27

Getting Started 101

I've had quite a few of you ask me what our timeline is, and when we will be expecting a child in our home. So I thought I'd take a moment to clarify a little bit on how this process will go. More or less. Because if I've learned anything from watching my friends travel on this journey, it's that things with foster care don't always go as planned. That's about the only thing we can plan on. HA!

This is not an end all be all explanation, as I'm going off of what I know right now, and what I've been told by our friends and our agency. I'm sure there will be a lot more to learn as we get deeper into this process.

But to start things off, in order to be a foster parent, you must first get licensed with the state. They don't just throw babies at anyone who wants them (thank goodness). There is a lot of training and preparation involved. When getting licensed, you can either go directly through the Department of Family and Protective Services (DFPS), or you can get licensed through a foster agency. We will be getting licensed through the agency 4Kids, which is a Christian foster placement agency that our church supports.

Through 4Kids, our first step will be to take licensing classes, which will take place over the first 3 weeks in February. During these classes, we will learn about the foster system in Texas, and we will be trained in how to effectively parent children who come to us out of their broken situations. It will run the gamut from discipline to grief to attachment to CPR/first aid training, and so much more.

Then comes paperwork. With our particular agency, a prospective foster parent must attend the first class (which is a basic intro into the foster care system) prior to being able to fill out or turn in any paperwork. Which, when you think about it, is smart. They want to make sure that you know what you're getting into before you jump into all the legal paperwork stuff. And so while I know some of the things that will be needed (copies of drivers' licenses, SSI cards, marriage license, pay stubs, budgets, inspections, etc...), we cannot start to get these things all together and turn them in until after our first class on February 2.

After all of the classes are completed, and all of the necessary paperwork has been turned in (which includes fire inspection from the fire marshall and safety inspection from the health inspector), the next step is to get a home study. This will be our "file" that CPS looks at and determines if our family wound be a good option for each child that is needing a foster home placement. I don't know a whole lot about this yet, but from what I've read in other blog posts and from poking around online, the process is a long and stressful one. But I know that my God will bring us through this victoriously, because He is faithful to deliver on His promises. Every time.

Once the home study is complete, everything gets turned in to the state, and we wait to be accepted and licensed. And one the license comes in, our home can officially be opened to waiting children.

So to answer all of your questions, after we go through "the process," I think realistically we could expect to get a child placed in our home sometime in the spring or summer of next year. Assuming all goes as planned, which...in foster care, there's really no such thing as a plan...

So I guess basically, I don't know. That will probably be our answer to most everything, huh? :) But I'm OK with that. Because the Lord knows, and that's all I need to rest on.